We all know how important it is to have a routine and take care of ourselves—mind, body, and spirit. Yet, for so many women, creating and sticking to a routine feels like an overwhelming task. You might think, What if I can’t stick to it? What if I fail again?
Take a deep breath, because you’re not alone in these feelings. The good news is, you don’t need a “perfect” routine to feel balanced and fulfilled. You just need a flexible, simple plan that fits your life. Let’s tackle the fears, frustrations, and challenges holding you back and build a routine that supports your total well-being.
Fear of Failing a Routine
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that routines have to be rigid or perfectly followed to work. But the truth is, life isn’t predictable, and your routine doesn’t have to be either.
The thought that you are not meeting certain standards can create feelings of anxiety. These feelings make you avoid engaging in certain activities that establish a healthy routine because the impulse is to escape the discomfort associated with potential failure.
Fear of failure often also leads to feelings of doubt—doubt in your capabilities and abilities, from which strong feelings of discouragement arise.
Adopting a routine involves repeating it day by day, week by week, until, at some point, it becomes ingrained in your behavior until it feels natural to do that thing every day, or as you have set it up. Persistence and effort are two critical ingredients in creating a healthy routine, and it is also important not to include a sense of perfectionism. Everyone will do things in their style. Being perfect doesn’t always mean being efficient.
Motivation can be eroded by the feeling of failure because you always tend to anticipate negative outcomes, and the initial impulse to engage in a routine can diminish. Without motivation, the energy and enthusiasm needed to sustain a routine can quickly wane.
Criticizing yourself for your failures only leads to amplifying the fear of failure and creating a vicious cycle that will be difficult to break.
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Focus on Flexibility, Not Perfection
Instead of trying to follow the same routine every single day, think of your routine as a set of “anchor habits.” These are small, meaningful actions you can rely on, no matter what the day throws at you.
How?
Design Anchor Habits: Choose 2-3 simple actions that feel doable even on your busiest days, like:
- Drinking a glass of water as soon as you wake up.
- Doing a quick stretch or deep breath before starting work.
- Writing down one thing you’re grateful for before bed.
Use a journal or a planner to help you manage your daily, weekly, and then monthly activities; this will definitely help you be much more consistent in achieving what you set out to do.
Plan routines that are easy to follow, for example, meditating for 10 minutes after you wake up. For busier days, make the activities light so as not to become overwhelmed. For weekend days, you can integrate more complex or longer activities, such as a yoga session, Pilates, fitness, or any activity that you believe will add value to your life.
It’s okay to make adjustments along the way and tailor everything to your liking. Missed your morning meditation? Do it in the evening. The goal is progress, not perfection.
Frustration with Time Constraints
One of the biggest hurdles to self-care is finding the time. Between work, family, and life’s endless to-do lists, carving out time for yourself can feel impossible.
Leverage Micro-Habits for Impact
You don’t need an hour-long yoga class or a spa day to practice self-care. Small habits, even just 1-5 minutes, can make a huge difference.
Because they take little time and effort, micro-habits are easier to adopt and maintain than more demanding routines. They don’t make you feel discouraged or overwhelmed, which is why when you want to add a new routine to your life, it’s best to start with micro-habits because they help you stay consistent.
Regular engagement in micro-habits develops lasting habits, and over time, they will lead to significant changes in your life and substantial improvements in your health and well-being.
How?
Choose Quick Habits:
- Deep Breathing: Spend a minute doing breathing exercises. These can soothe you in moments of stress and improve your concentration.
- Hydration: In the morning, before anything else, drink a glass of warm water, possibly with a teaspoon of lemon juice. Warm water will help stimulate digestion, and hydrating your body first thing before drinking coffee, having breakfast, or doing anything else will activate all the cells in your body
- Gratitude Reflection: Take a few minutes to write down some words of gratitude or mentally note something you are grateful for. A grateful attitude improves your mood and perspective.
- Stretching: Spend a few minutes doing some stretching exercises to reduce body tension and improve blood circulation.
- Mindful Moments: Spend a minute looking out the window, observing your surroundings without judgment, just noticing. Practicing mindfulness helps greatly in clearing your mind.
Build Habits into Transitions
Pair new routine with moments that already exist in your day. For example:
- Morning: Practice gratitude while brushing your teeth.
- Afternoon: Take a short walk after lunch.
- Evening: Meditate or stretch before bed.
Use a Timer or Reminder: You can set notifications on your phone to remind you to take breaks and reset. The most effective approach is to create a vision board specific to the habits you intend to adopt, then place that vision board in a location where you can see it frequently. A vision board helps keep you motivated and consistent in following your routine.
Struggles with Motivation
Even when you know a routine is good for you, it can still be hard to stay motivated. Sometimes it feels easier to hit snooze, skip the workout, or let the stress take over.
Solution: Link Habits to Personal Values and Joy
When your routine is tied to what matters most to you, it becomes less about “I have to do this” and more about “I get to do this for myself.”
How?
Identify Activities That Light You Up:
- Identify Your Core Values: Start by clearly defining what values are most important to you. These could be things like health, family, creativity, integrity, or learning. Understanding what you truly value will guide you in shaping a routine that reflects these principles.
- Assess Your Current Routine: Look at your current daily or weekly routines. Analyze which activities are aligned with your values and which are not. This assessment will help you see where changes need to be made to better reflect your core values.
- Set Goals Aligned with Your Values: For each of your core values, set specific goals that promote those values. For instance, if one of your values is health, a goal might be to incorporate 30 minutes of exercise into your daily routine. If creativity is a core value, you might set a goal to spend time each day on a creative hobby like painting or writing.
- Integrate Small Actions: Break down your goals into small, manageable actions that can be easily integrated into your daily life. For example, if you value learning, you could listen to educational podcasts during your commute or read articles on new subjects each morning.
- Create a Schedule that Reflects Your Values: Allocate time in your daily or weekly schedule for activities that reflect your values. Prioritize these activities to ensure they are not overlooked.
- Review and Adjust Regularly: Regularly review your routine and its alignment with your values. As your values evolve or as you get better insights into what works for you, adjust your routine accordingly.
- Reflect on Your Progress: Regularly take time to reflect on how well your routine is helping you live according to your values. Reflecting can help reinforce the importance of these activities, which boosts your motivation to maintain them
Integrating your values into your routines in this way not only improves your own sense of having a purpose but also enhances your feeling of satisfaction and increases the likelihood of maintaining that habit over the long term.
Related: Building Confidence with Daily Habits
Set Milestones and Rewards:
- Break your routine into small, achievable steps. Celebrate wins, like sticking to a habit for a week.
- Treat yourself to something meaningful, like a new book, cozy blanket, or a relaxing bath, as a reward for your consistency.
Progress, Not Perfection
Creating a self-care routine that supports your health—mind, body, and spirit—doesn’t mean sticking to a rigid plan or doing it all at once. It’s about starting small, staying flexible, and focusing on what truly brings you joy and balance.
Remember, every tiny action you take adds up. Whether it’s one deep breath, a short walk, or writing down what you’re grateful for, you’re building habits that nurture your overall well-being.
You’ve got this. Start where you are, and take one step today. Your future self will thank you.
